


the quiet

by psychicbees



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 08:39:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11986215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychicbees/pseuds/psychicbees
Summary: it's quiet on the resistance base.well, not quiet, per se, but a drastic improvement to what finn had left behind.





	the quiet

It’s quiet on the Resistance base.  
  
Well, not quiet, per se, but a drastic improvement to what Finn has left behind.  
  
At night, Finn can sleep soundly in the room he and Poe share (out of convenience, Poe had insisted, just because they were friends), not being interrupted by the distant scream of a departing TIE fighter or the thump of a bunkmate leaving for patrol.  
  
There are noises, though, but different ones– the quiet hum of machinery, a whispered conversation in the hallway, the steady breathing of Poe, close enough to touch but at the same time worlds away.  
  
Here, Finn can sleep– really sleep, not the light doze of the ship days, where he had to be ready at a moment's notice, or of the medbay, too drugged to stay awake.

He supposes he should be grateful for that. But really, sometimes, it’s too quiet. It makes Finn wish, a little selfishly, that he should have left to the Outer Rim when he had the chance. At least then he’d have something to do instead of sleep, something to listen to besides his own breathing.

On some nights, the endless ones, where Finn stares at the ceiling until the predawn gray allows him some rest (we're on the base, the sun rises, I'm not back I'm not back _I'm not back_ ), he can hear the hitch in his roommate's breath and could sense what is coming, the fallout. His fingers itch to help but his brain screams _fraternization is prohibited_ so he stays where he is, on a rollout mat on the floor (because neither of them can afford another bed), listening to Poe move and sob and take great shuddering breaths.  
  
It kills him, not to help. But in the night, where everything is just a little muddled, he can't, can't reach out, for the irrational fear of being sent to reconditioning weighs heavily on his mind.  
  
However, one night, when he falls asleep before the sun rises, he dreams of the cold, of a blade through his back, of a snow-covered planet, of being too late to save anyone. He dreams of falling.  
  
He wakes up gasping with a hand on his shoulder and a face hovering over his.  For one terrible moment, he thinks that this is the dream– that Poe is a hallucination, that Poe actually died in the crash, so he shuts his eyes and wills himself to wake up.  
  
"Buddy" Poe says, and Finn knows he's really here. "Buddy, I'm here, you're safe, I'm not going to leave you".  
  
Finn sighs and chokes out "Poe", voice rusty and throat clogged, and suddenly there are arms around his back and his face is pressed into a shoulder, and his mind quiets.  
  
Poe presses his lips to Finn's forehead, and Finn thinks, _Oh_.

Poe draws back. His face looks... _complicated._ That scares Finn, just a little, because he can always see Poe’s emotions on his face. _He’s an open book,_ General Organa had said once, to a passing pilot as Poe walked away, _and everyone can read him_ . _Yes ma’am_ , the pilot had said. _Gonna get ‘im into trouble one day, ma’am._

Whatever Poe is looking for, he doesn’t seem to find it in Finn’s face. Or his lips, because his eyes keep going there. He pulls back, further, inches and miles, impossibly far, says “See you later, buddy”, and leaves the room, still in his sleep pants and without any of his gear.

Finn can still feel his lips on his forehead like a brand. He feels cold without the heat of Poe next to him.

Distantly, he thinks _what the hell was that?_

**Author's Note:**

> can you believe this took me a month to write...yikes
> 
> also i'm on tumblr @psychicbees. come punch me in the face sometime.


End file.
